Saturday, February 27, 2010

piglets and puppies

I came across two small piglet-like creatures and was overwhelmed with joy. I picked one up and it tried to nurse on me but I disallowed it. Conflict. Later, during the day, I saw a man walking a mother dog, rows of utters pink and full of milk. She looked so exposed on the concrete sidewalk. Her master, like a proud father, told me she had 7 puppies.

I was so excited to see those little animals in my dream, so overjoyed with the little piglets. Why do people love animals so much?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Guinea Pig

It's been a while since I remembered any dreams; now I'm glad I had that coffee yesterday evening. I think I woke every hour or so last night, and each waking was a blissful bounce on the trampoline and back into dreamland. There was a most affectionate guinea pig, it was so still and cuddly, I marveled. I got upset with my sister, though, she came home with too many rodents, many more black and white guinea pigs and rats. "That's too many!" I told her. My grandfather, who died about 13 years ago, sat in a blue easy chair in the kitchen of the Maine house, so he'd be close to the food I guess. Someone was about to feed him something, my mom or an aunt, but instead smashed yellow and brown food on his face. Roots started to grow out of his head above his eyes. I wasn't scared. He seemed to be turning into a plant.

Monday, January 25, 2010

part web, part crab

Grabby'd better watch out. Mr. Claws, drawn by Nora.

Monday, January 11, 2010

A Goose with Braces

Ahead of me I saw a swimming pool in which geese, dressed in small safari caps and jackets, where playing water hockey. I got to get close to one which came over to the left side of the pool. It's face was large in front of me and it smiled an irrepressible cartoon smile, showing me all its teeth. It had rows upon rows of teeth in its lower jaw, and each one was individually muzzled by leather straps that were strapped over the tooth's point. Braces not for straightening the teeth but for containing aggression?

streets of crocodiles

When we were in Rhode Island my son articulated a feeling of not being safe, and that night had a dream about crocodiles. We were at my mother's house and I was navigating everyone's vacation desires, needs and fantasies, trying to be good daughter, good mother and real, live person. Makes me wonder about Bruno Schulz' book, I know from Woodman that many crocodile dreams relate to the mother complex, the dynamic in which a grown child can't find herself because of the inertia created by internalizing one's parent's needs and attitudes. When lost in the emotional mud it can be very hard to see how far one can betray oneself, because that self has not yet had the space to develop. Even we who were abandoned to ourselves still have to trudge through the thickness in avoidance of all the cataracts of despair false love hides.

Looking at R I must wonder if he feels allowed to feel what he feels? I think so. Based on how beautifully he articulated his mood that night, I think he knows where I end and he begins.

Friday, January 1, 2010

forest giant

Saw this giant bear/sloth phantom towering over the trees through the glass window of some sort of library/nature center in the woods and went running to the back of the building in terror while everyone else remained unperturbed. It seemed like a good idea to hide on a book shelf, so I knocked all the books off, crammed myself into the shelf and and tried to prop books up against my body. The dream made me wonder if all this book learning is a cop out for another kind of knowing that has no support in consensus reality, a wild dreaming that can mean everything or be completely overlooked. The phantom animal was not fearsome but curious, playful, tender, making no display of its power.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

life slips in at the edges

Self creates a holographic brain to project a holographic body which references and reflects itself. Through the holograms of brain and body, Self creates a spherical hologram that you call physical reality. It is a bubble, a shimmering bubble. As with your universe, so your personal universe is as a bubble.

And this bubble isn't that big, either. This bubble is just a quarter inch or less beyond your fingertips. … {laughter} … It moves faster than you. You can never touch it; no matter how adept and stealthy you are, you will never touch it.

"I'm going to move that way." … {laughter} .. It knows. …{laughter} … However fast you run, however high you jump, it's always just beyond your fingertips. And upon this bubble you project your reality and the reality of your world.

(Gilbert Williams channeling Lazaris.)